I almost got into a fight for trying to justify myself and acting apon shitty attitudes with my self righteous beliefs. I felt that old feeling again. Knowing i should be scared but not being scared. Smiling and wanting to taunt, just waiting to get a retaliation out of that person....knowing i was going to win that fight...no matter how it turned out.
Why should someone give out so much shit....then when it comes to taking shit....cant handle it, get angry and call it disrespect....Hmmm....i think i took it abit to far when i said "Id gladly spit on your face if i was allowed to..." The glares i receive made me smile...I was happy...like I wanted something to happen...
"OHhh boy don't fuck with me I'm going to kill you son..."
You think that's scares me?.....I might be delusioned by my own pride....maybe i should be careful....But I just dont like being underestimated.....that's why I sometimes pray that something would just happen...so i could just show them...who exactly not to FUCK WITH.
Across the bar flares of tension burned between the two of us...as i looked over..He just stared at me waiting for me to just give him a reason....with a smirk I turned away then looked back over just to stare and shake my head...laughing, I changed my focus to a customer like He wasn't even worth my attention...
I hear ed him cursing...."OHhhhh I'm really fucking burning now"......I was holding a boston glass....something in my mind was praying he'd just come over to me and just threaten me to my face....just push me......
images of me breaking a Boston over his head and stomping on his skull kept running through my head......
I think i scared myself a little....I don't know why I was so happy....Smiling like the devil...somehow succumbing to a past self i promised id just walk away from and never revisit...
I wished for Muss to come play with me....come see what kind of animal I can be....See how painful my bite can be.
His size means nothing to me......Iv put beasts bigger than him down in 1 punch before...If only he knew what I was like before..Id gladly show him....
But then I remember everything iv worked for to change myself...Iv come so far far away from all that bullshit to fall right back to the square i pushed so hard to get out of....I am a better man than before.....
Tristan took me into the office...And talked to me seriously..."Chad...dont agrivate him....". Hes leaving this coming Wednesday..its better to just let it go I spose..."Don't be to proud Chad...your the friendliest guy I know, don't change that" Tristan's words clung to my brain like a leech! Tristan was right...with a deep breath I told him id let it go past me "I promise I wont agrivate him....but if he wants to lecture me and tell me about life and how i should act...im going to tell him to Fuck off with his senile fucking 30 year old man bullshit". Just because you are older and have seen alot...Doesn't mean u have the right to teach me a thing or two about life....I know about life....I know enough to be a good man, In fact I know well enough not to be able to get along with fuck wits like this....
Anyways He left early because He was to angry to even be around me.....I think he was burning because he didn't scare me....and my arrogance was killing him...I know I was getting to him...and he knew I knew...
Anyways the rest of the shift was good once he left...Good friendly close with the rest of the team :) with lots of smiles.... and a bit of bob Marley from my eye pod.! We all debriefed with a sit down and chat while the tips were being sorted out !
Then as a group!! Off to the ship in! I still didn't drink ^_^!! Lemon Lime Bitters for the win LOL!.....and a Pizza :D!
Anyways its 6 am and Im spose to be awake in an hour to catch a buss to meet my dad!!
I miss Jenny I just want to see her..
Thoguht of the day: TIRED AS FUCK!...
Mol3 s2
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