Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Holiday blog no.1



Song: Magic Fountain by Art vs Science
Art Inspiration: Giant robots
Thought of the day: Trying to beat my imagination :(


So today I start my holiday blog! :)! im already 3 days into my holiday. Iv had a very eventfull few days.Sunday was a good day :) It was mothers day! i bought my mum a Paradise plant for her garden collection then spent the whole day with her eating lunch and some shopping for another present! :)! Happy mothers day to my mum and all the mums out there.
Id like to thank Deep who invited us down to his restaurant down in Nowra on monday. We spent a whole day eating indian food. It was great ^_^ BUTTER CHICKEN FTW!!!. The drive was a bit daunting :) but i kept my self pre occupied ^_~. Nom SANG??? haha

The last few days were great ^_^. Today was tuesday. And i had nothing to do. I tried to play Halo but couldnt. I tried to go shopping but didnt. Today i just felt like staying in my room. I donno why! Iv been in my room the whole day. Just lazy I guess...but id been stuck with nothing but me, my thoughts and this damn crazy computer. Watching movies, talking on msn, youtube , facebook. Its amazing how u can live a whole day with just your computer. Makes you too lazy to even get food hahaha!
Hmmm....I think I made a mistake and had a few too many beers lol! It got me thinking a lot. As I always do. It had me thinking a little too much. Especially after I finished watching "Hall Pass". Just makes me scared of long term relationships! Not in that im scared of commitment but for other reasons. I never want to be cheated on and that movie just didnt help my mind set LOL!. Anyways It reminded me that i should be thankfull for what I have right now :)! That silly billy. Cant beleive she thinks she is ugly sometimes. Wish she could just once see herself through my eyes and not what shes sees of herself in that damn mirror. I think shes a bit too negative about herself. And she seems to be fine with that. I dont think its healthy to "Accept" and to be "OKAY" with calling yourself un attractive. There is no such thing. You cant tell yourself something like that. Its not in human nature to brush off negative feelings. Especially if its something important to you. (Dont lie to me and say looking good isnt important to you)You dont bottle it up or you could end up hurting someone close to you. Please understand that its more your "Cool , Calm, collected" attitude toward it that worries me most. Are u actually cool, calm and collected? Is it really not a big deal? The way u fuss about your looks tells me that looking nice is a big deal to you. If u really accepted that u were ugly then you wouldnt spend hours on make up reviews and buying products for your face, and hiding your face from your own boyfriend. I felt so sad when you hid your face from me one morning when i woke up to you. I thought about how id never replace a moment like that. Then for you to hide your face and say you look ugly. you let me down a little in my heart. I dont often like been told im wrong, some days i have to swollow my pride and admit it. But you being beautiful all the time is something I know i am not wrong about. When i first met you I thought the hardest thing on this plannet would be to make myself a better person for you. As I got to know you, I realised that none of that mattered to you as long as i loved you as best I could. Now I know how beautiful you look and are. All sides of you. But with this knowledge i truely realised that I had an even bigger burden to fullfill. And that was and still is, convincing you that you are one of many beautiful girls on this planet. And not just to me but your friends, family, and those who know you! How can i say that to you when not even you can beleive in this...Its my challenge and I wont stop untill iv succeeded. Ill show you someday that you are beautiful all the time. And not just because I love you. Just because you are. Just because that is the realitiy that so many ugly people out there are destroying. I want to be able to call you beautiful all the time and for us both to know it all the time.
I was agitated on the phone. You fustrated me. while you were nice and calm. I was burning inside. you made me feel like you didnt care how I felt about you. You were to concerned about how convinced you are of not being beautiful all the time. Next time you call yourself ugly, stop and think about how much i love you, and dont let me down. such a silly billy. Dont be concerned about how you feel, okay? dont throw away my opinions on the matter. If you think you know that your not beautiful all the time. Then please explain this natural beauty you speak of. Because im sure everything you will say to me will sound Narrow minded. Just like the rest of the fucking idiots on this planet who have tunnel vision and decide for the rest of us what is hot and what its not....if you ask me. This world is pathetic. It makes me sick to the stomach!...i know so many beautiful girls who genuinely think they are ugly. Then end up with the wrong fucking guy because they think they cant do better! Then end up hating themselfs. Then i have to listen to the guy boast about his fucking achievments. ITs disgusting. Ill tell u this story next time as i think youd be interested.

Dont forget bubby, you are beautifull all the time <3 and i love you. Just respect yourself in the way you love me 2 okay?

Anyways heres to another day on my own with nothing but me myself and my thoughts! U_U; Bring it on Wednesday!....

Mol3 s2






Song: Magic Fountain by Art vs Science (dubstep rmix)

Thought of the day: Is worried about my imagination.

Drawing: Well I had been inspired by that song to draw a robot of some sort haha! Best thing iv drawn to date! :)







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