Putting everything into perspective

Before you read this. I just want you to quickly copy paste this link and play this tune while you read this. (But its completely optional).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRTOoccE6oI


How do you put a world so confusing into a straight line that you can understand. A line with light at the end. Where is the perspective?.

Instead we have a whole bunch of experts who tell us why we think the way we do. A whole bunch of friends who think they know everything.

If you cant even understand yourself. Then What right does anyone else have, telling you whats right and whats wrong.

maybe its contact with other human beings that make us who we are. It makes us an outcast, It makes us fat, it makes us different, it makes us sad. Your not hot unless everyone says your hot. Your not a good person until someone feels your kindness. People wont know the suffering you've been through unless they see it with their own eyes.

I think its the strength that everyone has inside that will make an ugly person feel beautiful. Or someone with no hope, fight harder. I believe the Truth is.... If you're weak., or If you give up. The world is going to bring you down.If your lucky enough. You'll have friends and family close enough to help you walk through the rough patches. If your lucky enough, that one person will walk by your side.

Sometimes i feel like everything I do is an atonement for the bad things iv done in my past. But now I feel different. I guess in a way, I can hear the people who tell me every day that im a good person. Those who said i wasn't going to make it or said I was a horrible person didnt know that I am a human being who makes decisions based on how people treat me. Treat me bad...I'll be bad. It was my mistake to take it out on innocent people. Now I have to live with that.

I get angry at the world then close my eyes. Before me are all the bad things iv done. When i open my eyes, I take a good look around me and see all that I have achieved since then. How hard iv tried to put an end to my misery by being a better person.

I used to think i was walking alone. But beside me are my true friends. My family. And that one special girl iv wanted my whole life. Not just a girl, but the one iv actually been looking for. Now with my life taking a new direction I have the confidence i need to be the good man iv always wanted to be.

Now this part is hard for me to explain. But ill try to explain as best I can:

People who know me now. Believe I am a good person. People understand that I have a good perspective on how things should be dealt with. They see my kind heart in action. And respect me when I identify a wrong.

I know they think its because its the human being i am...without knowing its truly because I see a little bit of myself in every wrong.

I am a good person. And i have my new life to prove it ^_^; I am happy. But there are those days I take a glimpse back and cant forget.

Its a small sadness i battle every now and then and atm i only have one cure for it. It will explain why i need to see her that often. Just so she can remind me that I am a good person.

I had changed my life but i was working on my love. Those years ago i tried so hard to change myself (those three wasted years). It failed so hard (with my ex) and sent me into a depression i couldn't get out of. . BUT Slowly I picked myself up and was learning independence. I still had hope for love and stayed strong because i thought i deserved it. There was a time i almost convinced myself to spite women by joining my best friend on a wrecking ball mission to do what i want with women (We could have been a dangerous team as most people always said when it came to us going to clubs) but realized id be no kind of man if I was going to ruin all i had fought for. I was rewarded several months later when I met Jenny for the first time. It was fate. And it was my reward for staying strong and not giving up.

I spose this is why I need to see her this often. I guess i need her reassurance that im the good guy still and that is my flaw.I guess the Last thing i need to do is just convince myself of that. I have a lot to thank her for. I guess iv spent the last few days trying to discover a little about this sadness of mine....those dreams i keep having. And why i feel down for no reason.

Truth is....im still working on it. But i know I can do it. Right now I'm happier because I have that love i needed. And it will be okay.

And getting back to what I was saying earlier. I guess as human beings we need to be nicer to each other. Just because it makes us all happier.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this with everyone. In fact I was contemplating for this to be something personal for Jenny. But i feel better by just letting people know and letting them think what they like.

:)

-chad.


Thought of the day: The reason why i told you to listen to that tune in the beginning was because for my year 12 art final portfolio, I was planning on a concept of art which uses music to relate to my artworks. A set of 3 pieces of art each with a tune which inspired me to make the art. Its how i create my art. Its what i had been doing since i was a kid. Listening to music and drawing. Amazing things can come from just listening to a tune and letting your imagination do the rest. Back then I didnt have the confidence to do it...and now its one of the biggest regrets of my life. But its never to late. :)!

This post was inspired by: Moby - In this world.

Mol3 s2.