>_>;......

Sometimes I think people have such shit attitudes....

Tonight was just so shit.... Just watching people treat others with disrespect just makes me want to vomit. I dont get why people always just look on the outside and never even try to understand a deeper reason. How can u just assume someones fucken shit just because thier performance in other areas are bad..

The last two nights opened my eyes as i witnessed such shitness....It reminds me of how careless alot of people are. Im sorry but this is what I see at work every day. And this is what I get angry about. The last two nights have been tough on all of us. The only way we could get by was to drink on the bar. So yes...For two nights in a row iv been drunk as shit on that bar. Thank god i dont lose my sense when I get drunk. But dealing with these guys that get drunk and feel like they need to tell everyone how it is makes me so fucken angry.
Poor Vappy cant handle his alchohol and so he was finding it tough to do his job. Like always hes pritty shit at what he does....I admit...the boy is fucking horrible....hes probably in the wrong profession! But is it in my right to tell him hes a piece of shit and that hes so discracefull or talk about it behind his back to others? Does that make him a bad person that he tries so hard but still fails??...the poor boy has nothing..He doesnt even have any good friends on the bar...His best friend Ivan left the bar and now he has no one but me. Yet Adam and mustapha think it in thier right as "PROS" or as "Experienced" bartenders to tell the boy off...and talk shit behind his back to me and to each other...If you ask me...that sounds like bitching. They never stay with anyone to the end of the shift and help them out...just because they are your brother. Or just because its the right thing to do. It makes me angry that since the old boys left (Im refering to ny old bartender buddies)there is no real team work on this bar. Anyways...I stuck with Vaps and helped him finish his job...even though I had long finished what I needed to do. The others boys just sit there..drinking thier beers like its not part of thier job to help someone whos obviously strugling...Fuck that shit man...what ever happened to Leaving together.....

Anyways it just pissed me off even more because unlike alot of people...I actually listen before i judge....I dont want to sound like im such a good guy...because I was quite drunk...I too wanted to go home..but i cant just sit there and have a beer while someone is still working hard and struggling at the same time....

I heared vappy's story...and its quite sad. The boy has no friends here in australia...His girlfriend, he has not seen for 7 months now and will go up to a year...He came to this job expecting to become a bartender and tried to work hard for it...harder than alot of kunts on the bar. Sometimes i feel that he deserves a chance over some other spoilt mother fuckers who think they are all that...

anyways...I dont want to go on about it anymore...I actually feel like shit for many other reasons...Like drinking...even worse....drinking two nights straight whilst at work...I dont get why I give in so easily...Specially when I want to give up...Having said this...I know my g/f is gonna read this and be like "Why do u do it to yourself"....I dont know?...Its my job?...I really dont know. I find it hard to get on when I think about things to much...

On a good note. I get to see Jenny in afew hours...Thats just sad how i say that LOL!..just because im still awake right now (4:09am)... Every day that i dont get to see her. I miss her even more...Tristan is going to let me come to work late just so i can spend more time with her. Thats how collegues are spose to be. Give each other a break sometimes...Just like how i work so hard for him because he deserves my help.

Ohhh god...I still need to write my story on what happened when i went out the other night, to arc...Fucken GG LOL!..But...im to tired. Ill leave it for next post. ima try sleep now.

<3 Jenny i love u :)

Thought of the day: ...up and down son...up and down....

Mol3 s2